In the olden days, when Swisher Sweets weren’t yet invented, stoners got creative.

Archaeologists just found evidence that ancient smokers liked to blaze out of solid gold bongs.

2,400 years ago, the smoking devices were walled up inside a “thick layer of clay” within a grave mound located in the Caucascus Mountains, a range in southern Russia. They were found paired with other gold items that weighed seven pounds in total. For comparative purposes, that’s likely more weight than your laptop.


The original findings happened in 2013, but were kept secret in case of looters. Recently, historian Andrei Belinksi was brought in to help clear the burial site in order to make way for a power line project.

Belinksi and another historian consulted by the Express said that these insightful stoners probably mixed opium into their weed, which is something we here at DunksnDank don’t recommend. Opiates can depress their users’ respiratory systems, leading to passouts and possible death.

But these dudes — or chicks — in ancient times most likely didn’t care too much about their lifespans, considering that back in the day there was no such thing as a dentist or a primary care physician. In those days, it was all about the #YOLO.

So solid gold bongs fit well into that theme. Remember, you couldn’t just go out and buy a brand new Lexus, an iPhone 6 Plus, or a grill. A stoner had to find some way to show off his or her wealth.

Historians think that these bongs belonged to the Scythians, a gypsy-esque race that traversed the lands of Eastern Europe and were feared by many. It’s theorized that they didn’t just get high — they also got down with full-on drug rituals, and we’re pretty sure this doesn’t mean they watched Spongebob Squarepants and The Bachelor while eating hot Cheetos all night.

So it’s true. History is pretty effing cool after all.

[Photos: via the Express]


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