It’s easy to believe that everything is automatically made more awesome with cannabis. And it’s even easier to indulge in that great Jack Herer before every occasion, big or small.
But through trial and error, it becomes clear to most of us that sometimes, it’s better not to be high. Under certain circumstances, take note: you may find yourself regretting those amazing bong hits, dank dabs, or blazin’ brownies.
Editor’s Note: As one commenter pointed out, this list won’t apply to everyone: many medical users have such a high tolerance for phytocannabinoids that they won’t actually feel “stoned” when they medicate. This is for all you casual smokers, patients or otherwise, who still feel the heavy psychoactive effects of cannabis — and love them.
1. At a medical appointment.
Not that kind of medical, you guys. Even if you’re seeing the 420 doctor, you probably don’t want to be lost in the stratosphere, courtesy of your Sweet Island Skunk.
Besides making you anxious around authority figures, smoking can alter your vital signs, speeding up or slowing down your heart rate, which means that if you’re high during a physical, you might not get the best — or most accurate — medical care.
2. At work (unless you work in an ice cream shop).
It may be entertaining at first, but if you work in an environment where you have to sound intellectual and/or be quick on the draw, it’s probably better to avoid toking up before or during work.
A good rule of thumb is to smoke only before an event that’ll be fun. Of course, patients who use medical marijuana for chronic pain or physical illnesses may need to break this rule, and that’s okay: it’s all about your own limits.
Namely, how high you’re comfortable being in a public place.
3. At a work party (unless you work at Burning Man).
Like the previous bulletpoint, this venue might sound like a great place to be high.
But unless the rest of your coworkers are doing it, preferably with you, be wary. There’s almost nothing worse than the terror of chatting with your boss while your eyes, mouth, and ability to hold a conversation simultaneously dry up.
4. Before your first time getting acupuncture.
Not just acupuncture. Basically, any new experience that has the potential to make you nervous — skydiving, moxibustion (today, you learned), being inside a sensory deprivation tank — can also make cannabis’ psychoactive effects totally backfire.
This goes double for operating any new machines.
5. In a country where it’s not quite legal to be high.
It will be very fun while it lasts. It will be very not-fun if your behavior gets you thrown in jail for narcotics.
Be aware of the rules where you are, and if you’re going to take chances, at least make them informed ones.
6. The night before a big event.
This one’s more applicable for any lightweights out there. If you have low tolerance, you risk having that awful “cannabis hangover” feeling. Avoid that feeling at all costs, but more so when you’ve got shit to do.
7. During a first date, or when you’re finally meeting your SO’s parents.
Even if your normal state is “high” — believe me, I’ve been there — most of the time, you will make a better first impression if you’re not. It sucks, but that’s just life. Save your smokes for the afterparty.